rainbowstars

January 20th
12:36 AM

0 notes

Memories

I miss senegal….When I’m away for long periods of time I feel somewhat empty. I miss the motorcycles the sandy streets. I miss late night peanuts and meat with mustard that I can’t eat. I miss the amazing pastries and the amazing restaurants. I miss the music and the festivities, the colors and attaya. I miss everyone that treated me like family and all the fun nights I spent outside with the neighborhood guys playing cards and sipping on juice. I miss it so much. I miss everything even the wrestling that was always on tv that made it seem like the whole world had stopped for a moment to appreciate something magical. I love Senegal and it is always and will always be a part of me

November 12th
5:47 PM

0 notes

yearly changes

So lately ive been feeling alright. this year instead of spending my time looking for perection in my grades i want to look for myself. sometimes im somewhat a control freak and its really taking a toll on me and my own happiness. i just want to do what i want to do and be who i want to be. i realize that last year was really a waste for me psycologically. i didnt think at all i only “did” what people told me was right and i disregarded myself while hoping things would turn out. i dont want that anymore, i dont want to feel frozen in time. i dont even care about getting into an ivy league that much anymore ill be perfectly fine going to a state university at least for under-grad. regardless of what happens i have myself, music, books, good food, and my family and thats all ill ever really need.

June 3rd
8:59 PM

1 note

my own cage

Ive been studying and trying to be the perfect student for so long i forgot about my own happiness. school became a cage something that could contain my raging feelings and protect me from the reality of the world. but by being so concentrated on that cage i lost something important, i lost myself. i felt as though that cage was my whole world and that if i took my eyes off it and lost concentration id loose myself forever. but no matter how perfect life can be in that cage and how protected i am my hearts not there, it never was. im gonna stick around the cage though until im ready to leave because i know its imporant but im not sure if when i leave that cage if im gonna find another one or if im gonna fly somewhere far off.

March 28th
4:52 PM

3 notes

"whether they were really happy or just looked like it, I couldn’t tell. But they did look happy on this pleasent afternoon at the end of september, and because of that i felt a kind of loneliness that was new to me, as if i were the only one here who was not truly apart of the scene."

— norwegian wood- Haruki Murakami