Vegan update thingy

Lol so for about the last two weeks I’ve been vegan and I loveeee it. Today I went to this place called sticky fingers in dc (vegan restaurant) and I had a California burger and O.M.G it was delicious. They also have tons of baked things like cookies,brownies and cupcakes and are completely awesome . Now when people tell me being a vegan is impossible and say vegans eat nothing but carrots I will sit and laugh at them while I eat my vegan Mac and cheese or my vegan BLT. Ahhhh life is good.

Vegan/food/life update

Cooked my mom dinner again tonight :) plan convert her into a vegan or vegetarian is slowly going into action. Lol since I cook almost everything though she basically eats vegan except when she goes out to eat. Personally though after becoming a vegan I think that this might have been one of the best ideas I’ve had in a while. I feel awesome and constantly energized it’s crazy. I haven’t felt this amazing in a while :D i feel like I’m on a mission to eat good and save animals. It’s fun. Try it lol

Vegan transition

So I decided to begin my transition towards veganism today. Before I didn’t really eat a lot of animal products but now I want to cut them out completely. I started my vegan day by going to a local chinese vegan restaurant and ordering lo mein and forcing my dad to eat vegan against his meat wishes lol. It was really good. I also bought some more vegan cookbooks and stuff so I’m really excited to make some of these delicious recipes. Not only is my new veganism going to improve my health but I’m also going to be promoting the protection of these beautiful animals, so it’s a win win situation.

Day 3: end

Well. After going through this painful juicing process I have to say I feel really good. I have loads of energy and my skin looks awesome. I also lost about 5 pounds and I lost a bit off my hips :) I feel really awesome and I’m so happy that I went through this process. I plan to do this monthly and begin toning. I recently bought a medicine ball (really useful) and Some other toning things I’m really excited. I’m really gonna try cleaning up what I eat cause I don’t want to regain these pounds and I want to continue feeling awesome. Overall this experience was worth the pain\ craving and I’d do it over and over again. So yea if you have the time and willpower definitely go for the blueprint cleanse… Or the hacked version haha

Day 2 of jucing

CRAAVVIINGGGGGGG!!!!!! lol so on this day my mom decides to cook all the meals that i absolutly love and takes me to her friends where we are offered red velvet cake, cookies, and chocolate. lots of chocolate. My cravings are extra bad. haha but i havent given up yet >:). i have mini headaches but they go away every so often. its not so bad and im not THAT hungry but the cravings are the worst. im like hoarding food in my fridge that noone but myself is allowed to eat haha omg. im probably going to end up doing this 3 days sadly but since now im accustomed to how it goes next time ill do it for 5 days. ive lost a couple of pounds already and my tummy is flat. like really flat. its wonderful :) lololol

Juicing diet/cleanse

So like I decided to go on a juicing cleanse of sort. I based my cleanse off the blueprint excavation (highest level) cleanse.I got the recipes online by just typing “hacking blueprint cleanse” and clicking one of the first links that came up. (btw someone referred me to this site so its not random lol ). The reason I’m not buying the the actual cleanse is because its too dang expensive and i got time so i can make the drinks myself. Their book is also a lot cheaper so i also bought that to help me through the cleanse. I just drank the first drink out of the six and it was the green juice. It was kinda gross and I had to chug it down lol but I’m oddly full. I think I might end up doing this cleanse for 5 days, it’s kinda fun, the challenge is very exciting :) hopefully I can do it!

Barrier

I tried this time, I really did. I thought that I would finally overcome this barrier that I had built in myself but I was wrong. I wont and I can’t change, not even for you. I’m sorry. I value loneliness far too much.

Air

I find myself in this deep sadness. I love what I cannot have. Peace and silence is what I desire. And this desire tears at my consciousness. I only want to be thought of as an abstract notion. Not being grouped into anything, not being expected to be something. I dream of air.

yearly changes

So lately ive been feeling alright. this year instead of spending my time looking for perection in my grades i want to look for myself. sometimes im somewhat a control freak and its really taking a toll on me and my own happiness. i just want to do what i want to do and be who i want to be. i realize that last year was really a waste for me psycologically. i didnt think at all i only “did” what people told me was right and i disregarded myself while hoping things would turn out. i dont want that anymore, i dont want to feel frozen in time. i dont even care about getting into an ivy league that much anymore ill be perfectly fine going to a state university at least for under-grad. regardless of what happens i have myself, music, books, good food, and my family and thats all ill ever really need.

fear

it’s numbing. im loosing myself and everything. I dont mean to hurt you. That isnt my intention. But im numb. Ive grown numb with the warmth of this fall. I cant contol myself. Everytime i say something i swear to you, beyond these chains it’s painful completely and untterly terrifying. so please dont mind me.

birthday weirdness

So im a year older haha yesterday i gained another year to my age. Im not sure how i feel about it though. it feels like every year i lose something. it’s a funny kind of feeling. but it was unavoidable its not something people like me can control. every year though i feel i get a bit more disgusting, i get a bit more uniformed. Rarely if ever do you find someone special, someone creative. We are all just a bit of eachother from our habbits to our mentalitys, its a never ending cycle. The only time we are free from this cycle is as children or someone truly outside of our societal ideals.

My nightmare from last night

Im in a building. The doors are endless with endless numbers plasterd in cold menacing forms. uncountable uncontrollable. Standing in front of these doors my heart begins to beat, my mind begins to pulse. You turn towards me. Your lips curve upward to form a smile. So innocent but yet so mischievous. You quietly whisper to me in a soft voice “which number, which door?”. These words echo through my mind and time seems to have stopped. Numbers begin to pulse through my mind, doors rush violently past my eyes. Every number that pops in my head sends a deep chill through my mind telling me to stay away. Each door seems to want to drag me in. your grin has begun to cut deeper into your face as you slowly say the words “168”. my world stops. I wake up. My pulse is pumping violently, my brain feels numb. My own nightmare is beginning to come alive.

-M.F

my own cage

Ive been studying and trying to be the perfect student for so long i forgot about my own happiness. school became a cage something that could contain my raging feelings and protect me from the reality of the world. but by being so concentrated on that cage i lost something important, i lost myself. i felt as though that cage was my whole world and that if i took my eyes off it and lost concentration id loose myself forever. but no matter how perfect life can be in that cage and how protected i am my hearts not there, it never was. im gonna stick around the cage though until im ready to leave because i know its imporant but im not sure if when i leave that cage if im gonna find another one or if im gonna fly somewhere far off.